I am here to here to teach you everything I know before my time on this Earth is to expire. I am to share my knowledge, my wisdom and of course, all of my love. There are so many times that I find you are a mirror, my son. As children, I suppose that’s really what we are most often. Mirroring that which we witness, that which we’re taught, a mirror of what we experience through our parent(s).
Today, you woke up especially early and you found me in the study, struggling to read and write. You found your way to my lap and sat patiently while I tried to complete my thought in writing. As I realized this may have been somewhat boring for you, I offered to put in a movie for you to watch. To my surprise, you gently refused. You turned into my chest and cuddled instead, telling me “you are my favorite movie Dad”. I do my best to hide it, but you noticed I was slower this morning. You also apparently noticed that I kept struggling to beat it this morning.
You interrupted me…
“Dad? Remember when you were in that chair and you couldn’t play with me?”
At first that made me sad on the inside. Naturally. But you continued…
“I could have chosen to be really sad, but instead I’m just grateful to have a father. No matter how sick you are Daddy, many kids don’t have fathers. I am grateful that I have a father like you” and you buried your head into my chest again.
You almost saw me cry today.
Noticing that my face was very close to the screen you asked me why I was trying so hard since my tasks were clearly difficult and almost frustrating to me.
“You need to be nicer to your eyes Dad” you said.
I kept typing; you cuddled further into my chest.
I must do this I said, I can’t let it win. If I did not try so hard, I would never get better. Being sad, or succumbing to my reality of the moment will serve no good purpose and will only feed the ugly. And that will only make the feelings inside worse, you cannot listen to the ugly. You must instead listen to that inner voice that tells you to get up – the one that tells you to fight. Choosing to recognize the good, through all of the evil will carry you far. If I don’t make the choice to fight when things may seem impossible, or if I choose to spend my energy on feelings that do not serve me, I have already lost.
Here comes the mirror: You reminded me of a conversation we had when you were in first grade. Perhaps even Kindergarten.
“It’s Hobson’s Choice Dad”
You caught me by surprise. Sometimes I can’t be sure how much you really absorb. Noticing the look on my face, you continued…
“It’s a choice that isn’t really a choice at all”
I love you Aedan. More than my simple words can ever possibly express. Today I am again making a choice to live with pride and strength. And I am choosing not to let this beat me today, and I am doing it with gratitude and a smile. I fail to see that there exists another option. Which makes it Hobson’s Choice – or a choice that really isn’t a choice at all as there is no other option. You either live – with purpose and gratitude for what you DO have and live well – or you don’t. You are wise beyond your years my son, and I’m proud to be your father and your guide through this world. Every second of every day.
You are my life, my soul, my son.
Hobson was an interesting fellow. I ask you, what is your choice going to be? Today I challenge you to realize that no matter what you *think* your struggles are at this moment, know that it’s likely that in 5 years you will hardly remember what bothers you today.
Sound off – what is your choice going to be?? I want you to live with purpose today. No matter what your perceived struggles are, know that in time they will fade. But what shall forever remain is how you carried yourself through your struggles. And how many times you got back up
I hope there’s something in here for those who need hope and those who need to be pointed in the direction of light.
Your Brother in Fight,