Recorded scrap of paper – 19 February 2014

Garage Sessions…


I need a page separator (I call it) between parts of a task to get through it. For example, this morning, I was making breakfast for myself, because I can do that most mornings now, and I’ve gotten in the routine which really helps. So I can make eggs in the pan and then I reheat some sausage. So today what I had to do – and I do this frequently and it’s with every meal or other similar tasks – um, so I would heat up the pan a little bit. But I would do it slowly, and that’s one part of my task. And then I’d go out in the garage and sit in a chair for a minute or two. And then I’d go back inside and by that time it’d be pretty close and I could put the eggs on. And then… so on and so forth. Like last night, I was able to get through making myself a frozen pizza. And like I do always, I set the oven to preheat. And that was one part of the task. Then I had to go into the Garage, the garage is my space. It’s my quiet space. So I go sit for a couple minutes and I listened to the XM radio a little bit last night. Then I’d go back in and put the pizza in, and then I’d be able to set a timer on my phone. And then go sit down in the space again and be quiet. Or if I’m going to switch tasks, um, I think… I forgot, uh, I was going to do something but uh, at any rate I always need a page separator. Hopefully I’ll talk more about this, I’m tired.

Recorded scrap of paper – 10 February 2014

Garage sessions are what I call it when I go outside to think…

Garage Sessions again.

Mentally  I’m like a kid in a lot of ways. Even on my best days, the B12 has been helping a whole lot, but uh… even on my best days mentally I’m still like a little kid in that while my brain works a little bit better, if I don’t have someone there full-time to coach me or to help direct my attention and energies I can’t really accomplish much. Well I can’t accomplish… I don’t seem to be able to accomplish much of anything.  And even on those best days, when Nikki is trying to help, or even when my Mom was here trying to ask me questions or help get some things out of me to help me write a letter… its extremely difficult for me at best. But it’s at least somewhat possible.  Also too, if I don’t have someone here to say “Michael, eat”, somebody calling me doesn’t help because when I get off the phone it’s weird. I’m still in a movie too, so uh, it’s hard for me to… as soon as I’m off the phone I forget it.  And I’m back on my own again and I’m confused, or disoriented and uh, I don’t know how to say what I’m thinking right now, um… I’ll have to make another one.