Recorded scrap of paper – 04 July 2014

I looked forward to this for weeks. I rarely get to leave the house, and in order to be able to go with my family on the 4th I saved up all of my energy for several days. I do very little as it is but this meant I couldn’t spend any energy – I didn’t try to pick up my son, take a shower, etc. – for days. I also saved up what little Glutathione I had on hand and did injections for the days leading up to this, and also right before we left. I stayed in bed to conserve energy… and this is still how it turned out. 

7/4/2014  9:58PM

It’s the 4th of July and we, uh, drove – not too far away up in Longmont and we were in the parking lot at Target, watching the fireworks. And um, the parking lot was full. Almost everyone in the parking lot was tailgating so-to-speak. And um – (Oww, my eyes) … Um… it didn’t seem so bad when I was watching the Fireworks, but I went to go try and drive home I had a real hard time seeing. Um I mean, I could drive straight, I could see enough to make out where I was – I mean, I was safe – I couldn’t see street signs. Everything was not just blurry… I could… when I got closer to the street sign then I could make it out for that split second and then it would be blurry again, and then it would be … um, I mean not totally blurry – it’s hard to describe. But my eyes. They even hurt. Not badly, but enough that it – I mean it hurts. They don’t feel good at all.

Even when I close my eyes I feel like everything is just moving. At night – uh, there was so much glare. I was driving down darker roads and the street signs are bright (and lit from the inside). With better eyes it would have been very easy. But my eyes just got real tired and it got real bad. And right now its real bad, there’s no way I could read a book. I cant make out things. Um… Everything seems not so much blurry… I mean uh, kinda blurry… but definitely doubled.  And it’s very straining on my eyes. So its just a big contrast of being out vs. being home. There’s nothing worse about today, this is just what happens. I uh, I just normally don’t leave the house (especially at night) and it just got tested just now.  And for some reason my eyes are… really are bothering me. And it’s difficult to see very well. (sigh) This just sucks.

Second recording:

7/4/2014 10:03PM

Continuing the last recording about my eyes…

My sensitivity to light is significantly worse and I have to turn the lights out. I noticed quite a bit of relief – when I walked in from the Garage to that little hallway there and the light was on. That light really bothered my eyes. And when I turned the light out, it was very noticeable – ahhhhh. Bit of relief, you know. And um, I just walked into the dining room where Nikki and Aedan were – are – and uh, Nikki was reading the Series of Unfortunate Events book. Or one of those books. Chapter book – one of the ones I read a few pages to Aedan at night sometimes. I tried to make out the letters on it and I just couldn’t. They were doubled, and it was very straining to try and focus. Um, its hard to describe. I can make things out, but it takes a lot of strain. Especially I notice when I’m trying to read the smaller letters, that they’re doubled. Very slightly but they’re noticeably doubled. And uh, it’s very weird but very uncomfortable feeling. My eyes… they really bother me.

Recorded scrap of paper – 19 March 2014

The light really tires my eyes out. Nikki and I just got back. We went and picked up the boy from school. Right before we did that, we took a drive for about 45 mins or an hour. Up Canyon or one of those roads into the foothills. You know, just to see nice scenery for a change and not stay home.  But uh, I mean I generally can’t do that for very long.  And now I… I can tell my eyes are just tired. They feel puffy and numb and like they don’t want to focus.  Or that they’re slow in focusing. And uh, light really bothers me. I really have to stay in a house that’s pretty dark. Blinds are drawn, and uh, it’s been a long-standing problem.  That sensitivity to light, but… it seems like about an hour and a half or so is the most I can be outside. And that’s wearing a shading hat and glasses – really good polarized glasses, and being in a car. So it’s not like I’m outside in direct sunlight even. It’s just being outside in an area that’s brighter than our house. You know. It’s a big problem for me.