Hope v1.5

My mental abilities aren’t enough at the moment to make many of the posts I’ve been daydreaming of. Those will soon follow as I have a lot to share. Some really amazing stuff and a whole lot of things that aren’t such good news.

Hopefully I can start posting some of the things I’ve written and meant to post. See, as many of you will understand, my brain seems to work and think in fragments – even on the best days. And for me, the trick is to get as many fragments together as I can and hope it comes out as something that resembles sensible thought. My posts generally take me a very long time and take tremendous effort. Again, something I am certain many of you can relate to. So I tend to miss the opportunity to post my thoughts and updates as my brain tires throughout the day. But it is my mission to help each and every one of you. Always.

Just please know that as much as I want to help, I am still very ill. Daily tasks are still overwhelming to me, even on my best days. I just want you to know that I am here, even if I am unable to communicate at the moment. And that your messages do reach me. I will try harder to check my messages now that I realize just how many of you have been sending me your questions, admitting your fears and reaching out for a beacon of hope.

Until the day I die, I will be here to help. So please, keep it coming! It fills me with purpose and hope just the same. And I have much love for you all.

Patrick, Lucas – Your messages were the ones I saw first and some of the things you wrote really hit home for me. Patrick, your last line was haunting for me. I too remember all too well being frustrated and not understanding how come it would take me 30 mins to write 3 or 4 simple sentences. Little notes like that inspire me to write, and I suspect my writing on such subjects will be amazingly helpful to others who are experiencing it too. Maybe soon I will start to share some more intimate details and share my logs and such. My challenge here is I want to share everything, but I don’t want to scare you or make you lose hope. Which is why I usually only share the good stuff. Please, let me know if it would be too much for you to hear it all. I need some feedback here.

In the meantime, I have a message for you.

And remember: Never, ever give up. This is not a death sentence. Live. Live with purpose, meaning and intent. Even if you can only move your wrists today, no matter how horrific the pain is… NOTHING can take this day from you, and NOTHING can take your quality of life away – except you. YOU truly can control how this day will end for you, and you can control what it means to you. Live my friends. Live.

Your Friend in Fight – Michael

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